Hi Reader! How are you doing? An answer I've been hearing recently is "scattered." Back in my office admin days, every so often the computer would get slow, and in the 90’s, that was reeeeally sloooooow. The IT guy would come to my desk, open up a secret window and type in "defrag C:"– system defragmentation – to gather all the little bits of information that were cluttering the system. My very non-technical interpretation of what was happening is that the defrag tidied little remnants of...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader! Do you remember playing Simon Says? That game where "Simon" gives you permission to move but also tells you to move without permission and if you move without Simon saying so, you both lose and are humiliated at the same time? Was that game fun? You tell me. Maybe it taught self-control? Compliance? In my memory, it also added nervous system confusion. It’s no surprise, the things we experience as children become part of our very structure, and affect how we operate throughout our...
3 months ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader! Remember this old joke? Patient: "Doctor, it hurts when I do THIS.” [Insert imaginary obviously-going-to-be-painful image of your choice.] Doctor: "Well, don't do that." It’s a silly reminder to treat ourselves better. Don’t do the thing that’s hurting you. Sound easier said than done? Sometimes we can't see other options. A client recently described what it was like to manage the everyday stresses of living in New York City. She said, "When I feel good, I'm up and energetic,...
5 months ago • 4 min read
Hi Reader! How's your November going so far? Here in the PNW, the time change feels dramatic. Dark came early last night. One of our kittens, Maurice, is all-black except for one white whisker. He’s hard to photograph. He absorbs light very, very well. When we’re looking for him, we have to remember to scan for nothing. It’s counter-intuitive to look for an absence. When clients first start working with me, “nothing” can play a pretty big role. Let’s say they’ve been holding tension by...
6 months ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader! How’s your fall going so far? Me? I love sweater weather. Frankly, I just love sweaters. Maybe a little too much. They seem to be multiplying. Soft. Cozy. Comfortable. Do you ever feel like comfort gets a bad rap? Like it’s somehow weak or selfish, even regressive to seek comfort? It can seem like making change requires us to get out of our comfort zone. But does it always? Many people come to me because they want something to shift. Maybe they’re carrying tension they can’t...
7 months ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader! Can a ballerina also be a witch? 5 year-old me certainly thought so. In 1972, when Halloween came around I had already been wearing a tutu nonstop for months. The idea of replacing it with a costume felt like a betrayal to my true nature. So, in the school parade I was a ballerina witch. Not both. One complex character. Ballerina for beauty and grace, witch for power. Afterward, I did cast off the black hat and cape, but kept the tutu. Still, some of that witch power remained. One...
8 months ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader! “Picture the audience naked.” 🫢 Have you ever heard that advice for public speaking? Here's a more PG version: “Think of something cute.” This is not a mindset trick. Cuteness can bring a dose of fun—let me tell you about our new kittens!—but that’s not why it’s helpful for high-stakes communication. When we think of something cute or funny it may inspire a delightful release of muscles at the back of the roof of your mouth, which is awfully close to the head-spine joint. If you’ve...
9 months ago • 4 min read
